Day 2: Less Going In, Yes. Less Coming Out…Not Yet.

It is well with my soul!  It’s been a glorious day…the sun was up before me, we went to Riverview this morning {Noel gave a rockin’ sermon}, we ate delicious momma-made stew for lunch, and currently the loves of my life, yes…all 3 of them, are sweetly sleeping while I design and journal with a cup of pomegranate red tea beside me.  This…this is bliss. 

The fact that a handful of raisins managed to satisfy my sweet-tooth after lunch {I always crave something sweet to wrap up a meal} is simply a sweet bonus.

My break-up with coffee and sugar has gone well so far.  They don’t miss me too much.  I, on the other hand, am already finding love in the arms of clementines, raisins and herbal tea.  But, before I get too big for my britches…it is indeed only day two and I realize my time will come.  I did rebound briefly yesterday when, without even thinking, I popped a pecan in my mouth…a pecan that was coated in butter, brown sugar and flour.  It had dropped on the counter while I was topping my scrumptious sweet potato casserole before popping it in the oven {kiss this, Betty Crocker}.  Note: I know it was scrumptious not because I ate any of it {besides the delicious mistake of a pecan} but because I am not allowed to go to the Reside family Thanksgiving without it.  It is my sinfully decadent Thanksgiving staple.

I digress.

Yesterday I sensed God wanted to tackle my tongue.  That sounds odd.  Let me rephrase that.  I feel as though my complete inability to think before I speak needs to be addressed.  While I can, at times, say deep and profound things…there are other times that complete nonsensical, unedifying babble dribbles from my lips.  Its as though silence amidst a conversation – especially with people I don’t feel 100% comfortable around – needs to be broken.  Painfully. 

So…this filter inside my head, that so often seems to malfunction, needs a little repair work.  It started yesterday, it continues today {and no doubt, for many, many, many more days}.

This morning Noel was teaching on judging.  Judging others the right way {not too harshly, not too lightly}, in love.  He hit on the fact that we are not called to judge those outside of our faith – that’s not our job {and yet sadly, Christians are infamous for doing this} – but to rather judge those we consider brothers and sisters in Christ, when it is appropriate, in a loving and tender way.  Of course the whole getting the plank out of the eye before attempting to remove the speck in the other’s eye is a biggie here…why do we forget this one so often?  It amazes me how critical I can be of others when I have so much in my own life that needs attention.  The sermon this morning simply reiterated aspects of what I was pondering yesterday and today. 

The power of life and death are truly in the tongue.  Why is it that I choose to speak “death” when I have the ability to speak “life” over someone?  Is the root of it all my own insecurity and lack of maturity?  If I were truly secure in my identity and was not ‘rattled’ by those around me, I don’t think I would be nearly as quick to speak negatively about them.  Gossip is so pointless…and yet so powerful {in a destructive sense}.  I need to implement the rule our mothers all told us a little more…if you have nothing nice to say…don’t say anything at all.  Now I just have to find a way to balance that with prayerfully confronting issues when there really are issues.

This is one of the areas of my life I want to work on over the next 38 days…choosing to speak life {rather than death} about people, not having a critical/negative spirit, and sweetly learning to identify and confront problems when the need arises. 

Oh, and the whole learning to be quiet thing.  Yeah.  I’m a talker.  This is hard for me.  I talk when I’m excited…I talk when I’m sad…I talk when I’m frustrated…I talk when I’m nervous.  Yup, I just like to talk.  I am not, however, nearly as good of a listener.  This absolutely needs work.  All of my relationships would benefit from more of a balance here.  It is true that we have been given two ears and one mouth for a reason.

I was looking up some scriptures in Proverbs about the power of our mouths and found some real nuggets!  Check em’ out:

“Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up” Proverbs 12:25

“Prudent people don’t flaunt their knowledge; talkative fools broadcast their silliness” Proverbs 12:23

OUCH!

“Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything” Proverbs 13:3

“Rash language cuts and wounds, but there is healing in the words of the wise” Proverbs 12:18

“Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults” Proverbs 12:16

“Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense” Proverbs 11:12

And of course…

“The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words” Proverbs 10:19

Way to hit the nail on the hit, King Solomon.

I love the book of Proverbs.  It has this fabulous way of gently prodding me while slapping me upside the head.  Good stuff.  James 3 is also loaded with great wisdom about our mouths and what comes out of them.

This has ALWAYS been an area of struggle for me.  I remember early on in my marriage trying to be the shy, quiet wife I saw other men had on their arms.  It didn’t last more than 10 minutes.  I was positive I might explode if I kept all that terribly profound information bouncing around in my noodle to myself.  I tried, I really did.  But, none the less, it gushed forth.  I recall being so disappointed in myself, as though there was something horribly wrong with me. 

But, you see, I’m learning that it’s not so much about the fact that I’m a people person and I love to chat…it’s so much more about the quality and quantity of what comes out of my mouth.  Half of it doesn’t need to be said.  It doesn’t add to the quality of anyone’s life…it doesn’t encourage and edify…and it doesn’t vitally inform…so it doesn’t need to be said.  As “they” say…rather be quiet and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

This problem, I realize, is just fruit of what’s growing in my heart.  Scripture says that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. 

But…that is another day entirely. 

Today I’m working on my mouth. 

Yes, less is going in it…namely deliciously sweet, caffeinated things…but ideally, I want less coming out of it too.