Sunday, November 29, 2009

Day 9: Choices, Choices

I am so thankful for the blessings in my life.  While there are things that feel painfully out-of-place right now, there is so much more that is right.

John 10 talks about how Christ came to give us life…and life abundantly.  The word “abundantly”, directly translated, means “superfluously”.  Over and above…so much that it’s actually in excess.

But it’s a choice to live in that place of crazy fabulous life.  Like most everything in our lives…it starts with making a choice.  A choice to dwell on the goodness of God.  A choice to focus on the provision we are surrounded with, the vitality in our bones, the precious friends in our lives.  Rather than bemoan the fact that there is little money in my wallet, celebrate the 3 crisp dollar bills JUST chillin’ in there waiting to be lavishly splurged on a cup of spiced cider.  It’s a choice to enjoy what we do have, rather than mourn what we don’t.  A choice to be thankful, even when we’re in a funk.

My life is rich.  So stupendously rich.  Even when I’m a dunce, my life is rich.

I don’t know why I’m “off” today, but my poor husband seems to be in the line of fire.  It’s surprisingly easy to be snippy or abrupt when I’m dwelling on what’s not quite right with me…rather than soaking up all the deliciousness I’m surrounded by.

I can’t quite put my finger on it…is it the lack of sunshine?  Is it my hormones doing their pregnant-to-nursing tumble?  Or is it simply an attitude that’s a little out of control. 

None the less, it hasn’t been pleasant.  And still…my husband loves on me.

Get this…my sweet man got up with Ali this morning…made me a scrumptious hot breakfast an hour and a half later, and then even made me a sandwich for lunch while I was nursing Aiden.  I’m SO loved by this incredible man…and yet, because something seems a miss in my head…I’m not the loving, patient, gracious wife he deserves.  I got snippy on the way to church…I was petty and silly about something on the way home.  I’m embarrassed to admit this, but it needs to be dealt with.  I hate that I can be this pathetic at times…especially in the face of his radical acts of service and love.  God showers me with His unconditional love and mercy through this incredible man, and at times, I can be such an ungrateful recipient.  While I really am thankful, my life doesn’t portray that.  My mouth doesn’t express that.

A heart filled with true gratitude chooses to stifle its bad attitude and react in love.  A loving heart chooses to respond lovingly and graciously, even to what may feel like a silly question.  It loves.  Regardless of what’s going on inside.

An appreciative mindset oozes kindness simply because of the deep realization that life is too rich to waste on the petty things of this world.

My life is beautiful.  Christ died for this kind of beautiful and I want to live in the center of it.  The John 10 kind of abundant…superfluous…excess…life.  Life in the fullest.

While misery loves company, I think enjoyment in the everyday is far more attractive to those around us.  And seeing we’re not on this journey alone, its about time we started being more accountable for our attitudes.

So there you have it.

Today I choose to live in that sweet place of excess.

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