Day 7: I’d Rather Have a Purple Monday, Thank You

I’ve always heard about the madness of Black Friday, which is exactly why I had never dared to venture out.  Until today.

My sweet man took our daughter on a “man store & Timmies” date this morning {man store: Home Depot, Lowes, or any other store that features a massive amount of powered “man things” like drills, tractors and the likes.  I’ll have you know, though, I adore those stores too!  Timmies would be none other than our favorite coffee/muffin haven, Tim Hortons}.  And per tradition, she went fully-clad in…jammies. 

I love these dates of theirs for a few reasons; mostly because of the precious daddy-daughter time spent together {I usually get an excited call from Alathea – with the assistance of dad – reporting back exactly what they’re doing and the delight in her voice is undeniable}, but also because it allows me the joy of staying in bed a little longer.  Aaaah, the utter bliss of sleeping past 8am.

I adore my husband.  He just rocks my simple little world.

But back to Black Friday.  If I start talking about how phenomenal and crazy awesome my hubby is, you may find yourself still reading several hours from now…concerned by your newly acquired optical twitches. 

I’ll save that for another day.

I got to experience the full parking lots, blocked aisles and long lines closely acquainted with today’s shopping mania.  I did not care for it much.  Most probably because every single thing I had spotted in the Target ad and had ventured out to nab…was sold out.  Serves me right for sleeping in past 8am.

Oh well.  I’ll take sleep any day over more stuff we don’t need, purchased with money we don’t have.  I’m a smart cookie, eh?

So, it’s day 7 and I’m somewhat disappointed.  Not because I’ve failed…but because I’ve outsmarted the system.  I’ve indulged in chai and sugar-free carrot cake {a friend made it with honey…with me in mind} for the past couple of days…and while I’m not having coffee or sugar, I just feel blah about the whole thing.  Seeing my motive behind doing this is not because of dietary restrictions but to radically transform some areas of my life, I feel as though I’ve just found a way to fill the void…and thus am not as aware of the loss of what I’ve given up.

I’m torn.  Do I now declare no chai or honey either?  Or do I just follow my heart and navigate this 40 day journey, with trial and error, and decide as I go along what is wise and what isn’t, what is a crutch and what is simply a substitute for my sacrifice. 

Will chew on this some more.

We’re processing a few new things regarding our future right now {after discussing something my mom suggested yesterday} and really need to pray for direction and wisdom.

Things are not looking good for the recall of the laid off State Troopers.  While we’re definitely not giving up hope, we just feel we should move on with our lives a little and allow God room to move, instead of just sitting around and waiting.  Don’t get me wrong…my husband has done little sitting around.  He’s brilliant, you see, and can fix anything!  He has managed to fill every day since his June 28th lay-off with work.  He’s a mechanic, a handy man, and an all-round super-hard worker!  The fact that he’s a scrumptious babe is simply a nice bonus.  There I go again…. 

Joy, focus.

While refusing to give up on this dream of my husband’s {with whole-hearted support from me} – we need to make some decisions about our immediate future.

My mom suggested Joe return to school.  My hubby is just a couple of semesters away from finishing his bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice {through U of M – Flint}.  Being laid-off, the State will cover a few grand of his schooling – and we had actually forgotten until today that his State Police training counts for up to 40 credits.  It almost seems foolish to not go for it!

Besides needing direction about the college thing…we need to decide what to do about housing?  Unemployment doesn’t cover much for a family of 4 {which is why we’re camping out in one room at my parents house}, but he wouldn’t want to drive back and forth to Flint several times a week…so we’re talking about renting a small apartment further East, near the Swartz Creek area.  This will keep us close enough to family and friends in the Lansing area, while placing us a little closer to family and friends in the Imlay City/Attica area.  Obviously this would work out perfectly for classes too. 

We have much to think and pray about.  I’m excited.  I’m nervous.  I’m anxious.  I’m hopeful.  I also seem to have an aversion to change right now…most likely due to my insane drive to just settle down and unpack my life, for Pete’s sake, and if it’s a temporary move…I shudder.  Who is Pete, anyway?

Renting a small apartment would obviously be a temporary fix, which would mean another move would be in store for us.  Soon.  Blech. 

It’s funny…I recall driving past our first apartment a year ago, thinking…”how on earth did we fit our lives into that small little place?!?”.  Now…two kids and a lay-off later, the thought of two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room all to ourselves seems…well, stupendous.  Isn’t it amazing how one’s perspective changes based on their situation?

I’m delighted at the thought of having our very own space again, and yet a little bit terrified of having my hubby return to work or school full-time.  I have just LOVED our time together, and as a family ~ it’s as though God has redeemed all the time that was lost while Joe was at academy.  Part of my anxiousness, I know, is due to the fact that we’ve acquired another child since then.  Not to mention the company & assistance living with my parents has provided.  Wow, we’re in for a reality check when life returns to ‘normal’.  But then again…what exactly is normal anyway?

I’m not sure life will ever be the same again.  And I’m not sure that's a bad thing.

If we’re constantly growing and being refined by the tough situations we go through, then change is what we’re striving for, isn’t it?  After all…RADICAL change is what I’m after here.

Then I’m left with no choice, really, but to leap.  With reckless abandon.  Laying down my hopes and dreams, my plans and hidden agendas…knowing the arms into which I leap are the arms of a sovereign God, a gracious Papa, the One who holds our destiny in the palm of His hand.  And while He doesn’t guarantee it’ll be free of heartache and discomfort…He does promise it’ll be out of this world, bigger and better than we could ever dream possible. 

And that is sure to be one radical ride!