Saturday, December 12, 2009

Day 22: Does It Really Matter?

Something hit me the other night.

While that may sound like a profound opening…what initially hit me was warm, bath water.

Allow me to explain.

Ali and I were bathing Aiden in his little tub, which was neatly nestled inside the big tub.  While I had him propped up and was washing his hair, his always-eager-to-help big sister was rinsing his toes {and anything else that happened to be within a 5 foot radius of said toes}.

The following 5 minutes went something like this:

Thank you for helping me, sweet girl!  I bet your brother loves it!!
    Mommy, I want soap too.  
Please…? 
    Please.  
Okay, darling, here’s a squirt.
Thank you…?
    Thank you, mommy!

{Aiden’s hair and toes, among other things, being thoroughly washed and rinsed, until…}

Ummm…Ali, please don’t put soap on mommy’s back.   
Mommy isn’t in the bath and doesn’t need soap right now  
because I can’t rinse it off.

{more washing and rinsing…until suddenly the sensation of warm water is felt rushing over my back, in my pants and on the floor}

ALI!  What are you doing?!?  GET OUT! GET OUT!  AAARRGH!  
Now the floor is all wet!  My pants are all wet!  Go, just go!

{As I usher Ali out the door and do a sloppy job of mopping up the floor with a nearby towel, it hits me…my baby is in the bath tub, unattended.  I swung around to find he had wriggled down the mesh back support at an angle and was beginning to drink the bath water}

My heart was pounding, my mouth was dry, and I instantly felt sick to my stomach.

It was entirely possible that our son could have drowned amidst the whirlwind of water and careless words, simply because I had over-reacted to the floor, and my clothes, being washed in an unorthodox fashion.

Did it really matter?  In the scope of things…did it really matter?

No.  Of course not.

And my sweet girl, who in her mind was just fixing the previous problem {soap on mommy’s back, who was not in the bath and so was unable to rinse}, had just been royally scolded for something in a way that could have cost us a life.

What a wake-up call.

As I looked at my little babe, now more appropriately situated in the tub, my heart swelled as my mind wandered to 14 weeks ago when we almost lost him the first time {www.aidens-journey.blogspot.com}.  The thought flickers through my mind…”how many chances will the Lord give us to keep him?”

But I know better.

I’m so thankful I can rest in His sovereignty and His perfect plan for our lives, and the lives of our children.  I may be painfully imperfect…but He is big, and gracious, and patient…and the best safe bather of children this side of the river Jordan.  Ha.

Life is so precious.  And much too short to make mountains out of molehills. 

Why do I make such enormous deals out of such inconsequential little things?  Yes, of course I was startled, but did I really need to respond that drastically?

No.  But that’s why life is all about the journey.  It’s about constantly being willing to learn and mature and grow and stretch…no matter how humbling, scary and tedious the process may be. 

There really are startlingly magical moments in the muck.

Once my heart rate had returned to normal and my head had stopped spinning, I did call Ali back in and apologize to her for the way I responded.  She stroked my arm and said she was sorry…and wanted to know whether I was okay.  What a girl!

I’m learning that it’s not about perfection…in parenting, in marriage, in friendship, in life in general…but rather about seeing every mistake as an opportunity to reevaluate, apologize when necessary, and to get a little better at this game of life. 

Life is just too short to squander on minor irritations over unexpected showers.

There are always little eyes watching the way we handle life – the good, the bad, the ugly, the wet and the unexpected – and how we walk the walk, and talk the talk, will hugely impact the way they do.

Seeing we are all still under construction, we’d better get a handle on this basic principle as soon as possible:

God is obsessed with life. 

He made the ultimate sacrifice in order for us to experience it in abundance.

This usually involves some level of growing pains.

And seeing God is far more concerned with our character than our comfort, we may as well get used to it.

{After all, how much fun is a rollercoaster ride without the ups and the downs?}

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