Saturday, December 19, 2009

Day 29: Let’s Try This Again…

December 19th, 2008 couldn’t have come any faster.

After 19 weeks of grueling State Police Academy, my hard-working, determined, unbelievably sexy husband finally got to don the sharp blue uniform of a Michigan State Trooper, shake hands with the Governor {yeah, about that…}, and get sworn in.  And then the moment I had most been looking forward to…I had the privilege of pinning his badge on.

It was one of his proudest moments.  And mine.

6 short months later, he was turning his badge, uniform and gun back in.  His glorious reward for the blood, sweat and tears poured into this dream job was suddenly ripped from his clutches.  I didn’t even get the chance to meet his coworkers. 

We were left devastated and reeling.  And unemployed.

Enter God.  Almighty saver of days {not to mention the world}.

While the last 6 months {well, seeing academy was tough for everyone involved…lets just say the past 17 months} have been tough.  To put it mildly.  We’ve faced some of our darkest days.  But we’re also experienced some of the sweetest moments together.

My mom has always said: if you want to see “God the healer”, you need to be in a position where healing is needed.  Sadly, that involves someone not being well.  If we want to experience “God the provider”, we have to be in a position where we need to be provided for.

These past several months have been hard.  They have been long.  They have been frustrating.  But they have also been filled to the brim with glorious, miraculous moments of divine provision and healing. 

I would not trade the past few months for comfort, ease or money any day.

We have seen characteristics of our God that we have never encountered so intimately.  His abundant provision.  His incredible healing {of our son}.  His sweet grace.  His delightful sense of humor.

While parts of me have deeply struggled with – and at times, resented – the past few months.  I have LOVED them.

I know.  Maybe I’m a sucker for punishment.  But really, it just boils down to this:  when I can’t SEE God’s HAND, I’m learning to TRUST His HEART!

And on this snowy 19th of December, 2009, just 6 days from Christmas, and just 365 days from the first time my hubby earned his dream job…we chomp at the bit.  Not because we’re getting antsy.  Or hungry, for that matter.  But because we’ve heard from the “big wigs”, it’s official. 

On January 11th, my husband will again don the blue uniform of a Michigan State Trooper.

Whoot whoot.

What astounds me about the timing is this: the first time I did a 40 day fast, 7 years ago, something beautiful happened.  I was praying about the man the Lord would have me marry.  I was tired of being single, antsy that God would just smite me for all the stupid things I’d done in my life and as punishment, lump me with a grumpy, ugly, hairy old man.  After all, that’s what I felt I deserved. 

I was over fretting about it and needed to completely surrender it to God.  So I did.  And on day 40, I received my first email from a young man I had just recently met at a Michael W. Smith concert.  His name?  Why, it was Joseph Martin Bruce McMillan. 

And again…these 40 days are bringing about beautiful things.  God is so ridiculously faithful to honor our small, silly {un-chocolately, decaffeinated} efforts that it just takes my breath away.

While we don’t know what 2010 holds, we do know who holds it. 

And for this reason alone, we are geeked beyond belief!

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