Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Day 11: He Loves Me More

It’s been a Christmassy, estrogen-fest of a day! 

Glorious in most every way.

I’m a part of a Mom2Mom group that meets every Tuesday morning.  We enjoy breakfast, a teaching, and sharing/prayer…all while our children are being watched by other, non-family women.  I call it my “mommy spa for the soul”.  I love it with every inch of my being.  If you ask me to do something on a Tuesday morning, my answer will be no.  I have Mom2Mom.  And that’s it.

I did not eat the little sugary muffins that were shrieking my name, but rather indulged in the grapes and egg-casserole that softly murmured their nutritional content.  Despite pouring a cup of decaf coffee for myself, like I do every week, I did not partake, choosing instead to politely put it down and walk away.
We made fantasmigorical Christmas centerpieces this morning, a fun breakaway from our usual routine.  Mine was pimped with lime green Christmas bulbs & florist’s wire, silver sticks, glitter and a bright pink bow.  It makes me deliriously happy.  I think I’m going to be making more of these.  It was ridiculously easy…and made my heart flutter with excitement.  I’m a sucker for creative projects, can you tell? 
Anyone need a funky floral arrangement?

I got to spend the afternoon catching up with a girlfriend {who has a son just 7 weeks older than ours}, while our hubbies worked on their truck. 

I jumped at the opportunity to photograph our adorable 2 year old outside in this gorgeous weather…she’s so fun.





And then this evening, I discovered how much more the Lord loves me over my mother.  Let me explain…
On the way up to Alma, to a women’s Christmas tea, my mom was commiserating with me over the fact that I would have to eat desserts this evening.  As though I had no choice but to break the commitment I had made to forgo sugar/desserts just 11 short days ago.  After all, I couldn’t just sit there, amidst all the delicious desserts sure to drown us, and not indulge…with our host, who invited us and paid for us, sitting right there.  That would just be rude. 

But no, I argued…God loved me and would “hook me up”. 

And indeed He did.

It’s just a pity He loves me more than her…as she clearly got the short end of the stick.

While we were certainly surrounded with sinfully decadent desserts…chocolatey goodness, lemon bars, coconut deliciousness and the likes...they all resided nicely on other tables.  We couldn’t help but notice that the spread on the other 20+ tables was very unlike the ours.  Our table was lavishly decked out with…carrots, celery, broccoli, spring onions, cherry tomatoes, cheese, crackers, and some {rather sad looking} sugar cookies. 

See, I told you.  He loves me more.

Although dealing with heavy Tim Horton’s cravings, I’m doing pretty stinking well.  With the sugar and coffee part of this journey.  My heart, on the other hand, needs work.  I seem to have just created a new normal.  By that I mean, I’m adjusting to living without sugar and coffee, and by not being so painfully aware of it’s absence, I’m failing to focus on God in the deeper way I had intended.
I want to work on being still and listening for His quiet voice more.  It’s astounding when I do how I say less stupid, pointless {and sometimes, hurtful} things…and say more profound, life-giving things at the right time, to the right person. 

I heard once that because we’re spiritual beings living in a very “fleshy” world, that we actually have to reset our default setting from “flesh” mode to “spirit” mode.  I want to intentionally do this every morning.  I want my days to be intentional and purposeful, but without having a mind reset to an eternal perspective, I miss so much of what goes on in the unseen realm. 

Life is so much more than what we see and touch.

I’m bowled-over by the fact that the God we serve, the one who created our inmost being…not to mention this stunning world we live in, knows everything there is to know about us, and has a divine purpose for every single day that there is breath in our lungs. 

How many days we waste wrapped up in unimportant, superficial stuff?  Our busyness is so incredibly counter-productive to the fruitfulness we’re called to.

When will I get this?  When will I realize that by grasping this concept, my world will be radically changed?  The mundane will become magical.  The dry seasons I hate will become the training and equipping seasons I need to have an impact.  This is what I crave.  A deeper understanding of why we were created, how our lives majestically intertwine for higher purposes, how we have been given the opportunity ~ the daily choice ~ to live each moment which the knowledge that we’re supernaturally equipped to change our worlds.  The world on a small scale, within our marriages and families, to the larger scale of our neighborhoods, communities and circles of influence.

While thinking of the incredible legacy our beloved friend, John, left behind…I’m forced to ask myself this: if the Lord called me home tonight, what would I have to show for my 28 years on this earth, for the last year/month/week/day of my life?  How did I leave my mark?  Was is predominantly a self-absorbed, superficial life…or a profoundly selfless, inspiring one?  Who’s life did I contribute joy to?  Who did I hurt and cause to stumble?  Who’s destiny did I affect? 

What legacy will I leave?

I want to be the kind of woman who, when putting my feet on the ground each morning, makes the devil say…”oh crap, she’s up”.

So, this is my goal for these remaining 29 days…to lose myself so deeply in Christ that those who come in contact with me will have no choice but to encounter the grace, goodness and sweetness of the One in whom I rest. 

And it is for this reason I no longer pull into the parking lot of Tim Hortons.

{Even though He loves me more}

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